Marvel Legends Spider Man Noir Evolution

Another evolution of a figure article, this time with the Marvel Legends Spider Man Noir! I don’t know a lot about Spider Man Noir. I believe he was in a “What if” type story, and I think (what do you think about my non-committal commitments? Nice, right?) his real identity is a Peter also. For some reason I thought he was actually Uncle Ben, but a 15 second google search proved I was not the father.

I used to love “What if” stories until I read Alex Ross’ Earth X (I say this as a huge Ross fan). I understand it wasn’t a What If proper, but an alternate earth, yadda yadda yadda, but its endless asides of, “Hey, remember that guy who got big and turned green? Now he’s a monkey with huge balls and a smaller monkey that rides him” or whatever the hell that was, completely turned me off of Marvel-based alternate timelines. That was until Dan Slott’s Spider-Verse run.

I bet you didn’t see me bringing that back together did, you? I’ll be honest with you, neither did I. I’m a genius. A Genius. I also had to use spell check to correctly spell “genius.”

Back to my point, that story made me want to pay attention to the characters like Noir, who in that story was more on the perimeter of the narrative. Now I had a reason to care about these other earths, or at least their Spider-Men.

I picked up the Marvel Legends Spider Man Noir figure not because I wanted to, but because I wanted the Lizard BAF. The figure itself was pretty underwhelming, but it appeared to be their swing at the bat and they hit a double. Ok, I guess. I made the best of it.

I understand it’s hard to make an all black figure interesting (unless you’re Snake-Eyes) but I feel like they didn’t even do the bare minimum. Unless the “bare minimum” was to give us a base figure to make a proper Marvel Legends Spider Man Noir for your shelf.

I tend to only like characters that I connect with in some fashion. For instance, I thought the white Sony Spider-man “advanced” suit looked ridiculous until I played the game and all three DLCs to 100% completion (#humblebrag). Now I love the outfit.

When I saw Into the Spiderverse, I felt they wrote and Nick Cage portrayed the character in the only way that makes sense in this context. It’s hard to have a gritty crime drama with a talking pig next to you. The decision was made. My Marvel Legends Spiderman Noir figure was going to be moved to the front of the display and damn it, he would look dope. His life is dope, and he does dope $&^t.

The first step in the road to dopeness? He needs a hat. Fortunately, @Juicetincustoms to the rescue again.

Ok, now I have a hat. But what about his trench coat? I wanted the CJESIM one, but it was sold out. No idea when it’s coming back. Fortunately, VCTOYSBOX sells one. It’s not as great as I imagine the CJESIM one is (I already have a wire poking through the bottom, boo!) but it suffices.

Almost done. However, these damn space lasers Hasbro insists on giving everyone had to go. But what should I give him? He appears to shoot revolvers in the comics, and I have very few of those. Back to eBay. As luck would have it, I have a good eBay store for that.

Now I have a semi presentable Marvel Legends Spider Man Noir, and that is how I did it. Here are the finished results.

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